First of all, I actually did hang the mirrors, and I even took some pictures of the project as I went, but I still need to take some pictures of them where they’re not just reflecting my messy room.*
But I think today’s going to be a busy day at work, so here is the good news and the bad news about today.
- The good news is that I requested 2 PTO days and they were both approved, and everyone knows how much I love not being at work.
- The bad news is that I am currently at work, and I am so so so tired. Improbably tired! Did I actually stay up all night jogging or doing math while I thought I was asleep? Is there a carbon monoxide leak in my house/car/office/brain that is making me feel so drowsy? Inexplicably tired.
- The good news is it’s almost Thanksgiving! Every year, I buy 2 chocolate chip pecan pies from a friend to take to Thanksgiving dinner (This is not a traditional Thanksgiving pie. In fact, it’s closer to a traditional Kentucky Derby pie, but this is Pittsburgh, and we don’t really celebrate the derby so much.) Anyway, with 48 hrs until my favorite holiday of the year, that pie is all I can think about. Soon you will be mine!
- There is no more bad news to report. 3 day workweek!
- And one item that ended up kind of neutral: Had to unclog the toilet last night and it made me start to re-think the dual-flush kit that I installed a few weeks ago. I get that it works for Ikea, and I get that it works for Young House Love (where I got the idea/courage to attempt this), and also probably most of Europe, but I just don’t know if it’s right for us with our precarious Pittsburgh plumbing. It doesn’t help matters that we still need a new fill valve, so maybe replacing that will make me like it more? The jury is still out, but the good news is that the ole’ “Dump a Bucket of Hot Water in the Toilet” trick worked like a dream to unclog it. So there you have it, kids, my first DIY tutorial.
I’ll say it again, this time in haiku:
Toilet not flushing?
Fill a bucket- hot water!
Dump it all in there.
*I just kind of think it’s hilarious that my solution is not to clean the room -that would be ridiculous!- but instead to take different pictures where the mirrors do not reflect the mess.
I have mentioned that I used to blog in high school and college, and some of these blogs even had custom graphics/backgrounds, because back then, I had a pirated copy of Photoshop 7 (yes, back even before they started calling them CSx), and I taught myself how to use brushes and make headers and blend layers and all of the things that bloggers should know how to do. Then, I got a macbook and an office job and lost all of my photoshop skills. I’ve since gotten rid of the macbook (ask me why I’m anti-Mac, I’ll give you an earful!) and tonight, I decided that if I’m going to blog, I should think about maybe including some images? It just so happens that because Elissa is in grad school, we can get a pretty steep discount on it so that I can avoid paying $500+. In the meantime, I downloaded the free trial and it has been a rude awakening. One thing is for certain: only suckers try to use Photoshop with a trackpad, so it looks like I’ll be digging out my wireless mouse to use.
So far, the only thing I’ve used it for is to crudely sketch out a possible design for these Ikea Honefoss mirrors that I bought.
I bought 2 packages and I want to stick them to my bedroom wall. This is what I’ve come up with as a tentative layout:
You have no idea how painstaking it was A) making this graphic (and it’s not even that good!) and B) getting it into this post. But the point is that I’m learning. Also that I might have a bad-ass mirror layout on my wall sooner than later.
So when we last left off, I was explaining about the worst day of my job to date, and how I work for an insanely frustrating human being. When I got home that night, I felt like I needed to be in charge of a project and I needed to succeed at something.
So here’s a little back story about the kitchen:
2 years ago, I had just started to live by myself after a sad breakup, and I was seeing someone new (my current girlfriend, holla!), but I was still pretty damaged and I was completely underwater financially, since my ex had been sharing the bills with me up to that point. One day, I came downstairs to find that water had been dripping out of my kitchen cabinets on to my electric range, and I panicked. I unplugged the stove, called off work, and then called some plumbing company that had a catchy commercial on TV, and they came out and diagnosed some (probably relatively small) leak in the branch lines that connected my shower to the main stack. I guess somewhere along the way, he must have given me the option to just fix the leak, but because he was a salesman before all else and I was a panicked homeowner still trying to prove to everyone (most of all myself) that I could handle this solo homeowning gig, he convinced me to replace all of the second floor’s plumbing, which was really expensive. I guess they did good work, and it is supposedly warranted for the rest of my life, but I should have called someone cheaper. At the end of that day, I was left with a gaping hole in my ceiling and an even larger hole in my available credit on my credit card, and I decided that I didn’t want to tell anyone that I had called some big name plumber because I didn’t know what else to do and I’m such a damsel in distress, etc etc.
But then inertia kicked in, and I didn’t get the drywall fixed for a whole year. And then when I finally did get the drywall fixed, the guy couldn’t see to smooth it out after it got dark that day because the lighting in my kitchen is weird, so he said he’d come back. But then I didn’t call him and he didn’t call me, and a whole year passed AGAIN of me avoiding having my family over, because I hadn’t painted over the drywall and there was an obvious patch.
Something clicked in me recently, though, and I didn’t want to be afraid of my parents or friends stopping by anymore. I wanted to maybe even invite them to stop over, so they could see this home that I have made with my girlfriend, which is actually okay. My mom hasn’t been in my house since 2009 (although we live in the same city), so maybe it would be nice to have them over. Besides, like I mentioned, I’m thinking about selling the house in the next few years, so I need to scratch these things off of my to-do list. It’s nice to take some pride in my house instead of viewing it as a burden, and it’s nice to finally get out from underneath the inertia that had me feeling so down for so long.
So Elissa and I sanded/primed/painted on Wednesday and Thursday, and then I put the recessed lighting back in today, and it is finally back to how it was, 2 full years later. Maybe there’s some kind of metaphor in there about healing, or maybe not. All I know is that it’s really nice to finish something. Especially when it has nothing to do with work.
I know I’ve been talking about coming up with a job plan, and I have sadly no updates on that, but I have come up with a house plan!
A few weeks ago while I was working from home because of my leaky roof, I found my dream house on craigslist. Let me tell you about its glory!
It had 4 bedrooms, one of which was a huge finished attic. (So much room for activities!) It had new hardwood floors, a dishwasher, a double sink (this is very important to Elissa, but I’m indifferent to the number of sinks because THERE’S A DISHWASHER, WHO NEEDS A SINK EVER AGAIN?), a first-floor half bath, a new furnace, a nice patio, 3 parking spots. Let me tell you, this house was A+ and I spent a good 2 hrs walking around my own house trying to inventory all the things I would need to do to (in my non-real-estate-educated head) sell it in a hurry. I was going all HGTV in my head and theorizing the best way to stage my house. This was it. I was going to sell the house and move to…the other side of my own neighborhood, and there was no way I’d ever be convinced otherwise.
Of course, Elissa was at work during all of this and was completely unaware that I had found the home where we will grow old together.
Also, I wasn’t really looking for a house, because E’s in grad school and I’m looking for a new job, and everything’s just a little too unclear right now to go around getting a new mortgage. Additionally, because of the (totally reasonable, in my head) price of this house, I would need both of us to be on the mortgage, which is probably a grand idea for our next house (I have all kinds of opinions on this subject!), but we should probably at least be engaged-to-be-gay-married before then. Why buy the cow, put a ring on it, etc.
Oh, also, we don’t have tons of savings right now for inspections, closing costs, etc. When E came home and joined me in basking in Our Forever House’s splendor, she reminded me that approximately 60% of the houses in our neighborhood/this city were built the exact same way, and there will probably be one available to us when we are ready, but we just aren’t yet. She was right, and I’ve spent the past 2 weeks making peace with the idea that someone else is going to live in Our Forever House instead of us. I’ll probably still drive by it now and then on my way to Aldi, though, because you don’t need a new mortgage to be a stalker.
So my new plan is this:
- Refinance! Another portion of my work-from-home day was spent making phone calls that it is awkward to make while cubicle-bound, and one of these calls was to the mortgage broker who helped me get my first mortgage. People have been saying ‘you should re-finance!’ to me forever, but I’ve pretty much ignored all of them, because it sounded complicated, like I would somehow be personally involved in doing large amounts of math. Also, I knew that I’d have to talk to people on the phone, and that I’d have to fill out paperwork, and both of these things are pretty unappealing to me. Anyway, the guy explained that as long as I stayed in the house for 3 more years, refinancing would be worth it, and I’d be able to pay down my loan faster. If I was going to sell in less than 3 years, though, it wouldn’t be worth the cost to re-finance. In three years, I’ll be 31 (how did this happen to me?), and E will be done with school, and we will hopefully be able to make large financial decisions. Moreover, I will have paid down my house more, so I can potentially (gasp!) profit from its sale, which would be a totally cool and unexpected side effect, since I never really planned to stay there that long.
- Fix up my house. About a year ago, I went through a fit where I wanted desperately to buy a new car, but I didn’t actually need one. My car is six years old, but it barely has 60,000 miles on it, so it certainly has a lot of life left in it. Also, since it’s paid off, it’s kind of awesome to not have a car payment. The solution was for me to clean all the junk out of my car and vacuum it, and it made me feel so much better. Obviously cleaning and vacuuming my house will help me, but a few coats of paint and spackle here and there, and craigslisting some stuff that has just been sitting around will probably make a world of difference. This will also make it easier for me to sell when the time comes, and will help the next 3 years seem more bearable.
- Save money and pay off debt! With E working full-time now, we will suddenly have more money, and while making more money can lead to spending more money, I want to try my hardest for this to not happen. When we do want to buy a house, I want our financial path to be clear of weird old looming bills or unexpected expenses.
- Live happily ever after, etc.
I’m still working out the layout for this fancy “wordpress” business, so there will probably be random updates to the theme while I decide what I like and how to even do it.
For example, right now, I believe if you scroll down far enough on the right, there are sea turtles, and I’m just not sure how I feel about that, but I really like the font at the top. Maybe I’ll make my own thing?
Oh, I’ve gotten so tech-stupid in my old age.
Edit: I’m revoking the sea turtles, because the fish scrolling across my page were distracting and confusing. This is not a blog about fish or underwater adventures.
In my experience, there are 5 phases of employment once I start a new position.
Phase 1: Euphoria
“This job is the best thing that has ever happened! Not only in my life, but in your life too. Nothing in this history of the world has ever surpassed this joy.”
Phase 2: Uncertainty/Awkwardness
“Hm, this is kind of hard, actually. I have to talk to new people and they’re going to think I’m weird because I don’t have cable, and I have to learn how to use the coffee maker and pretend that I’m an enthusiastic person.”
Phase 3: Complacency
“This job is actually okay, I guess. I don’t hate every single day, but I still wouldn’t be upset if I were to win the lottery.”
Phase 4: Disdain
“I have never been more bored/stressed/angry* in my entire life. I hate this job and I’m leaving!”
*While the emotion in this phase varies, the important part is that it is extreme. It is the worst, and I cannot possibly tolerate it for another day/week/month.
Phase 5: Shutdown
“I don’t even care what happens here, because I already found a new job and it is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened. I’m going to cry happy tears every single day just because I am so lucky to wake up as me.”
In most positions, this process has taken me approximately 12-18 months to complete, at which point I usually applied for an internal promotion, and usually received it. I have always been incredibly lucky when applying for jobs, but I’ve always been sort of low-effort. That may sound boastful, but believe me, it is not always as fortuitous as it sounds. Getting by with minimal effort may be fine in an undergraduate program or an entry-level position, but it really sets you up for failure if you ever have to do anything that is actually difficult. By coasting along for all those years, I never learned important skills like ‘perseverance’ or ‘studying.’ Any time I’ve ever encountered anything difficult on my path, I have simply changed direction, which is actually a huge personality flaw. It’s like that old saying: “If at first you don’t succeed, give up immediately and settle for something easier.” (Right?)
Anyway, getting back to the life cycle, it usually takes me about 12-18 months to get tired of a job and start looking around. In my most recent position, for various reasons, the entire process took me 6 business days. I knew immediately and urgently that I did not want to be at this company any longer, so first I called my old boss and begged for my job back. He played the role of the wise father-figure, and I left the conversation feeling like I should probably try to stick it out a little longer, as though I was at some summer camp where the other kids were mean to me.
After about a month, I applied for a job at a company that I sort of had some connections with, and I scored a phone interview through some name-dropping on my application. The phone interview went well enough, and they invited me in for an in-person interview. At this point, I’m getting more and more optimistic, because I am an excellent interviewer. I dressed professionally with every hair in place, firm handshake, warm smiles— it was a textbook interview. When I left, I felt like it was a slam dunk, and I went home to patiently wait for the phone call that would allow me to leave my job with 2 middle fingers held high. (the likelihood of this happening is very small, because that would be very rude.)
That was over a month ago, and I’ve heard nothing. Not even a “thanks, but no thanks” auto-email. I can’t help but feel like I’ve been stood up after a blind date. I mean, I thought I nailed the interview. I don’t think I would have done a single thing differently, so I guess what I find most concerning is that I obviously didn’t actually nail the interview. This means that it’s not JUST my interview skills that need to be polished, but my judgment skills too, which are a lot less tangible.
So at this point, as I’m stewing over my defeat, a few things are happening in my head (in the shape of an outline):
- I still hate my job, but still relying on their compensation to pay for things I don’t hate, like:
- I’m still stalking job boards daily, but sort of mentally beat down about applying, because:
- What if I get an interview and they don’t hire me either? Or worse!
- What if they do hire me, and it is somehow worse than this insane place?
- I need to get more skills somehow, but I am skeptical of graduate school, because I’m still:
- Adverse to difficult things.
- Not sure what exact career path I want.
- Not rich, and hesitant of becoming less rich yet.
- I can feel inaction creeping in because:
- Other jobs will be different from this and could be harder or more miserable.
- I have 12 days off over the holidays, and I sure do love not being here.
- One way to prevent disappointment is to avoid getting your hopes up in the first place. (I just made that up, but it sounds like something girls would post on facebook and somehow attribute to Marilyn Monroe, who is probably pretty surprised in the afterlife about how prolific people think she was.)
So the answer to all of this crazy-talk is to come up with a plan. I’m not there yet, but hopefully I will get there soon.